If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
