dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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