Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Acid is not a monday night drug
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
