great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
