Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
