I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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