Old men and throwing up are my life now.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
