dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
