ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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