I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
