covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
