I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize