there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
