I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
