i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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