True but thats because hes a fetus.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize