I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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