Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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