I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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