I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
