That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
