Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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