You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
