Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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