OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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