Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
