"it" just moved
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize