I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im holly from the hills drunk
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
