The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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