planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.