Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable