Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
