yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
