Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
