STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
