Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize