dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
