Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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