Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
