no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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