I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
