I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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