You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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