I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
