WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.