If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.