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too bad you live with your parents still
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
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