Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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