I just pynch a tree in the face
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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