He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
