Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
