I haven't been this sober since birth.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
