I have demons in me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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