just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
