Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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