i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
