What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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