my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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