i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
