Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
