Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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