It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize